Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller Some
people think that being asked to use a condom is an indication that you don't trust
them. Other people think that condoms are a hassle. Some men complain that condoms
prohibit erections or find wearing them uncomfortable. Many of these experiences
and concerns are valid. It is important to know who is expressing a heartfelt
concern and who is manipulating you for selfish reasons. Here are some
examples of resistance and appropriate responses, with bottom-line suggestions
to put those most unwilling in their place. Remember, a commitment to safer
sex involves a willingness to do some experimenting and problem solving. Be
patient, but be firm. It may be helpful to rehearse what you want to say with a close friend.
Problem: "Condoms don't feel as good as the real thing."
Answer:
"Doesn't it feel better to be safe?" or "Let's find something as close to the real
thing as possible." or "How about putting a few drops of lubricant on the inside of
the condom."
Bottom Line: "The real thing is not available without one."
Problem: "I hate the way condoms taste."
Answer: "Let's try a
different brand. I like the mint flavored ones; Have you tried those?" or "How about
adding some toppings; my favorite is honey."
Bottom Line: "No balloon, no party."
Problem: "Condoms never fit men right, they always slip off."
Answer:
"They come in all shapes and sizes, including snugger fit, so let's try some on. We could
have a fashion show."
Bottom Line: "No gown, no ball."
Problem: "They're too tight."
Answer: "Let's pick up some extra
large."
Bottom Line: "Then I guess you are too big for me." | 
