You musn't force sex to do the work of love, or love to do the work of sex.
- Mary McCarthy Communicating with your partner is the best way to insure that
you both have a pleasureable sexual experience and that you protect yourselves from
exposure to sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. But communication
is often more difficult than it sounds. Let's face it: talking about sex can be
awkward and embarrasing. But these days not talking about sex can be dangerous.
It is important to remember that your health and safety are worth whatever feelings
of fear and awkwardness a conversation might bring up. One way to start is
by introducing a safer sex conversation during a low-key moment: while on a walk,
during dinner, over the phone. Try not to wait until you are between the sheets
to bring up safer sex. You can start small. Mention a news story about condoms
or a magazine piece on STD's. If you are involved in a on-going relationship you
can tell your partner that your desire to use condoms is based on your growing
awareness of safer sex, not a lack of trust in your relationship. Begin
to develop a sexual vocabulary that you are comfortable with. Some people enjoy
slang or "talking dirty" while others prefer a more formal terminology. Use
bedtime word games to teach each other your languages for sex. Remember that
everyone has different words for what they enjoy — "doing it" for one person
can mean "forplay" to another. Say what you want very clearly so that
there will be no misunderstanding. Hopefully, the person you are with will
want to share that desire with you. A good, loving partner will want to
know what makes you tick. In fact, sharing your desires with your partner
can be an exiting, pleasurable part of any experience. | 
