Scoring scale:1-5, with 5 being the next best thing to naked.
HE SAID: SCORE:5"She really seems to love it, which starts a feedback loop of audible appreciation—the more she enjoys it, the better I go, so the more she enjoys it. Sheer enough so you think that you're the one making the difference."
SHE SAID: SCORE:5"Feels very 'mmm.' Even though the ribs are on the bottom, I'm feeling a wonderful tickle at the top of my head. Fuller somehow. Wonderful."
HE SAID: SCORE:4.5"Wow, excellent heat transference. Feels as thin as water, but couldn't they find a brighter shade of pink?"
SHE SAID: SCORE:4.5"Mmm. So what's he want? Raiders colors? Feels great, looks cute."
HE SAID: SCORE:4"It's thin enough to make you check that it's still on. But, as with the Pleasure Mesh, I was unaware of any guy-side benefit to the rubber rumble strips."
SHE SAID: SCORE:4.5"One of the easiest-unrolling condoms we tested. And once on the job, the ribs added a subtle but welcome backbeat."
HE SAID: SCORE:3"Nicely lubed, so it goes on and in easily, but after a while, felt like a wet suit. Yanked it off in midswim. And as for the pleasure mesh, if there was any on my side, I couldn't feel it."
SHE SAID: SCORE:4.5"Made me say, 'Ah!' Sleek lines and plentiful lube made for a quick slide to the plate, and the mesh provided a nice thrumming massage."
HE SAID: SCORE:4"Feels as if you've been shallacked with vibrating armor, which provides a nice psychological boost but no special physical benefit."
SHE SAID: SCORE:3"Feels weird, and kind of distracting. Sort of like sliding down stairs on your butt."
HE SAID: SCORE:2.5"If there's anything special going on, it's all on her side. Feels a little thick to me."
SHE SAID: SCORE:2.5"'Twisted' is right. Feels like I sat on a slinky. The spirals might be too far apart; it feels as if there's a 30-second delay after each one. Could be pleasurable, I guess."
HE SAID: SCORE:1"Expose it to light before or after it's on? Just to be safe, I tried both, meaning I stood in the bathroom looking at my watch, while the big hand rapidly became the little hand."
SHE SAID: SCORE:1"What the hell is he doing in the bathroom?"
HE SAID: SCORE:1"Not that oral sex has ever been an issue, but it's nice feeling like you're making it a treat. Until..."
SHE SAID: SCORE:1"Ugh. The first taste was surprisingly authentic, but within seconds, it turned into a nauseating mix of tropical and auto-shop flavors. Like someone slipped a tire patch into your fruit salad."
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